sometimes, we felt that we need someone in our life to be happy, and that it would be the solution for ourselves. There are times I felt greatly satisified by the presence of someone beside me, and i become somewhat too desperate, trying really hard to have that person to stay beside me. In that process, I lost myself, I lost who i really am, and have not presented myself in ways that i truly am but rather, someone that would be viewed as appropriate and correct. As such, I have been victims of such emotions and mentalities myself, and still do have that from time to time. Maybe it’s a right way of thinking or maybe it is not, we all have our moments of weakness and cheer, and having someone beside us during those times are both warm and priceless. However, that is something we can’t control nor plan for.
what we can control, however, is how we live the life today. we can choose to be happy and look at the bright side of the things, and appreciate we have instead of keeping being upset about things we don’t have.
I am still a student in learning how to view life in this way, but i think i am gradually to become more calm and content about who i am and what i am.
On another note, after some 7 years, I am visiting the States again. Irvine, here I come… i will have so many Pho and taco in my stomach before I left.
Comments (8)
many of us are like this. Well, i am at least. Not doing yourself justice b/c it is not a good feeling thinking of and doing what is appropriate. too much will hinder your performance in life.
yep – you can’t control life really, we can only ride with it.
enjoy the states! should be fun.
sounds like broken up with someone recently?
who had the upper hand? *wink*
hope u have fun in irvine. you really need to come to la for tacos though.
are you orig from Irvine? I bet you know the same people I know.
haha. i’ll be there this weekend too. you’re going to miss the States even more after your visit.
Thanks for the input. I feel that I’m in limbo and am not sure what to expect next.
if there’s only one thing i learned in the last 10 months, it’s that life alone was leaps and bounds better than life with the wrong person. and i don’t even really know why i worked so hard to keep him with me, because really… in hindsight, none of it was worth it. it’s sad to say that there is someone in the world who isn’t worth one shred of effort and even sadder that i found him and wasted 10 months of my life on him.
i completely identify with everything you wrote in this blog and have spent the last 6 weeks working on getting myself out of the disaster caused by letting the deadbeat into my life. if you were coming to Toronto, i’d say we should go out for a drink or something and swap stories.
to new beginnings.
the old me could totally relate to your post. in past relationships, i would work so hard to please the other person that i forgot to work hard on just being myself. naturally i was miserable. now, i’m perfectly happy being me…and i also make sure that the man in my life is here to complement me, and not to complete me.