May 9, 2010
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mother and son
in recent years, I start to realize that there is a growing gap between me and my parents. It’s not a gap that was formed because I don’t love them anymore, but rather it’s because of the difference me and parents view how love is defined and the personal space that is required by each other.
It comes with my dissatisfaction with how involved they want to be in my life, even after all these years of independence on my own. I knew that there can not be “life as it used to be” ever again, after all these years and all these things. I need my personal space and I am used to do things on my own with my own terms. Whereas for them, i am always that little boy that needs their every attention to live.
Such disparity is what causes tension, they wanted what’s good for me, and their definition of “good” is based on their own value system that was formed through their life and experience. And I, I just want to be able to be free of any possible constraints and restrictions. If I was to fail, I want that decision to be made by myself rather than someone else.
I want to experience life in my own terms and my own discretion.anyways, it’s another year, and witnessing the aging of my parents is rather heart breaking. I wished I could spend more time with them, and wish that I could give them that grand children that they so desperately wanted, but I can’t; at least not at this time of my life.
happy mother’s day to you all
Comments (2)
feel ya bro.
Maybe we should form a club for asian/chinese american kids living crossed cultures, the struggle between the 2 generations in 2 cultures. Great for a movie, too. Let’s put our minds together for script. Ang Lee can direct it.
Same here. Sometimes I kept quiet to pretend I agreed with their decision and did what I would like to. I knew it would cause heart breaking when they realized. But I don’t want my life designing by parents instead of myself.
Good luck anyway!